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Psychotherapist Pandora Mac Lean-Hoover, who's divorced, also suggests finding a therapist who knows firsthand how vulnerable you are.

to do) if you're going through—or just contemplating—a divorce.

Here, real women share what they wish they'd known when they split from their husbands and divorce professionals weigh in on how to combat the most unexpected, yet most common, mistakes they've seen clients make.

Rest assured, these 10 lessons can get you through the end of your marriage, both financially and emotionally.1.

It may take a long time to recover—and that's okay.

Julie, 50, from Denver, thought she'd be able to handle her divorce.

"I'm a strong person, I own my own business and I'm a professional speaker," she says.But she admits she could barely function for a full year after the split.Her divorce recovery classes helped her realize everyone bounces back at their own pace.Kira Brown, 34, from Phoenix, AZ, owned a business with her ex-husband and wishes she'd also hired a financial planner for help negotiating her settlement.3. According to financial analyst Sandy Arons, a divorcee herself, 40% of divorce proceedings are about money.So get as much information as you can about your shared accounts to be well-informed before court.Specifically, "learn all of the online passwords to bank accounts, which accounts had automatic payments and where money is invested, including the names of all accounts, the account numbers and the investment advisors," says Newman.