Hi Meredith, I have been with my husband for 12 years, and married for almost 10. A few months after my second one was born, I happened upon a dating site left open on my husband's laptop. We have never had a great sex life because of issues on both sides.
He has lost that chance with me since I already found out on my own. – Looking for Answers, Massachusetts I'm not convinced that things will get any better if he tells his parents, LFA.Sure, you'll get some temporary pleasure from watching someone else get mad at him, but then what? Don't assume that he'll learn a lesson by confessing. He said he never intended for it to go anywhere, though he did meet one of the women once. When I first found out, I asked him to not touch anything on his profile until I had time to think about it. (I am not religious.) It's been two months since I found out and he hasn't done it yet.And when I finally decided a couple of days later that I needed to go through the site and find out the extent of his betrayal, I found that he had changed some things to tone down what he had done. He is seeing a psychiatrist and telling her his life story so that's more a shoulder to whine and cry on than someone who will hold him accountable for what he did.
That eroded my trust further because he had promised he wouldn't change anything on the site. Shall we live together and find a way to make this bearable or should I move on?
Am I right in insisting that he tell his parents or at least someone who will hold him accountable?
It frustrated me terribly in the beginning, but I learned to live with it because I thought everything else was perfect.
He was thoughtful, helpful, always remembered anniversaries, and always had something special planned. I don't want my kids to grow up in a broken family, and I am certain I don't want to remarry or have any other men in my life.
We are great friends, I admired and respected him, and I trusted him completely. I have always been against marriage and felt that it was only because my husband was so exceptional that it made sense (my father abandoned us when we were kids). I don't want to tell my family because I am afraid they will stop respecting him.
When I confronted him about the website, I found out that he had been doing it for six months (from the time my second daughter was a month old). A divorce would also cause a lot of heartache in both our families (we are from a country where this is not common). I have asked him to come clean with his parents because it would make me feel like it's a sign of being truly repentant.