Dating too soon after a break up America seks chat

But not all experts agree that falling for someone straight after a break-up is necessarily a dangerous thing.

Counsellor Mo Shapiro says: 'So-called rebound relationships get a lot of bad press but I think the attitude that they're always risky is an insulting one.

Sometimes you have to trust your emotions.'You can meet Mr Right straightaway, it does happen, and actually your subconscious can be very good at learning from the past and helping you go out and find exactly the sort of man you need.' Enjoy the moment According to Mo what's important is taking one step at a time.

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Ask yourself what it is that makes this one different and how it might be in a few years time.' Slowing the pace But Julia Cole believes that in an ideal world, it is best to give yourself a whole year to get over a break-up before even thinking about getting involved with someone new.'Go on dates, have some fun but if a man you like tries to force the pace, says that he loves you and perhaps wants to live with you, tell him you feel close to him too but still need some space.You have to be very strong to do this but it will be worth it in the long run.'And Mo Shapiro agrees 'If it feels like it's all going too fast then it is going too fast.Try to put your foot down and set some limits even if you're scared that if you do so he'll up and leave.'When you've had this sort of knock, it's natural and understandable to be with someone who makes you feel better but ultimately the healing process takes longer.'After a break-up you're not in a fit state to understand what you're doing.Self esteem often plummets and you can end up getting involved with someone who boosts that but before you've had time to work through what went wrong in your previous relationship and what you want in the future.' Breathing space Leaping straight from one relationship to another - especially when there are children involved - can often just complicate things, says Julia.'You need time to reflect on what happened and time to feel sad about it,' she says.

'If you go directly into a relationship with someone else it just muddies the water and makes it more difficult for you to see things clearly.' Echoes from the past In the first heady days of a new romance it's all too easy to use the present to blot out the painful past but this honeymoon time is invariably short-lived, says Julia.'Although everything is usually rosy to begin with, tensions can start to appear if you haven't worked through how you feel about your past relationship as well as your role, and your ex's, in the break-up.'This is the time when old unresolved feelings can come back to haunt you and arguments with your new partner tend to start as you take out on him all the issues and emotions that weren't sorted out with your ex.' Post break-up blues Sometimes the sadness and depression which accompany virtually every relationship breakdown don't kick in until six to nine months later and this difficult time can be made even more painful and complex if you┬┐re already in another relationship.'The emotional effects of a break-up nearly always catch up with you at some point and can have a serious effect on how you behave towards your new partner,' says Julia.

'He may well find your sudden unhappiness bewildering and inexplicable - after all, he thought you were contented with him - and this can place a lot of pressure on both of you.' Can it ever work?

Less than three months after splitting from her husband, she's fallen head over heels with the Oscar-winning film director, Sam Mendes.

To many of us, starting a new relationship can seem like the best way to get over an old one but what are the dangers of falling in love so soon after a major break-up?

Is it natural and healthy or a quick-fix solution, destined for disaster?

Pain relief 'Splitting up is painful and distressing and falling in love with someone new initially takes away the hurt,' says relationships expert Julia Cole.