We’ll also use the pronoun “them” because X (like me in some respects) doesn’t identify with masculine or feminine pronouns.
“I just don’t understand why I get treated like a freak when all I’m trying to say is ‘I think you’re hot? What is it about trans “masc-on-masc” action that is so destabilizing for some?
Case in point, this is what greeted me one post-work evening when I opened up my facebook account: “I’m a trans man and I like gurls! Anyone ever heard of anything ridiculous like this??
” I looked at the black face next to the post, sucked my teeth in disgust and quickly un-friended.
In spite of the many configurations of queer dating in this vibrant and complex city, a series of recent encounters have given me pause, pushing me to ponder over hetero-normativity and queerness — specifically, what kinds of relationship and sexual expectations are often placed on masculine black bodies.
What does it mean to be a genderqueer or Trans masculine black person in queer dating scenarios and which gender roles do we feel most comfortable with?
What’s typically expected of us in these areas and how does this fit with our actual feelings and desires?And finally, how do we negotiate desire, privilege, love and safety in relationships with other Trans or Cis identified people?These are words that, in my experience, a number of queer folks, specifically queers of color, use to express their masculinity and/or disassociation from the gender binary — boi, aggressive/AG, butch, genderqueer, gender nonconforming, trans, trans man, boifemme (for more on this read Z’s “I’m Neither Butch Nor A Top”), soft AG and butch queen.I pulled more from the Transjustice myspace page: gender variant, gender deviant, butch lesbian, drag queen, bi-gendered, two spirit, drag king, femme queen, non-gendered, cross dresser, gender-bender…you get the idea.There are probably as many words and identities within this as there are people.A good friend of mine, a black Trans masculine person that we’ll refer to as X, and I were chatting recently.